Why don't people want girls???

I keep hearing of the skewed sex ratio in India where many more boys than girls are born.  This is supposedly created by aborting female fetuses.  Apparently, ultrasound labs have popped up all over the country and even in remote villages and for a small "fee", they will tell you the sex of your baby.  To be fair, not all labs will do this but a significant number will.  

This scenario seems like a plot in a science fiction movie and I remember a few years ago (well, more than a few) there was a debate that ultrasounds could be used for this purpose but people denied that it would ever happen...too barbaric and the medical professionals are too ethical to do this.  Well.....apparently not.  It brings to mind the ethical ramifications of cloning that are being debated today and again, the proponents use the arguments of government regulations and ethics of medical professions which, in some areas, are not enough to stop unethical behaviour.


Anyway, back to my original question:  Why don't Indians want girls?  I know that this is a very small minority and also that it is a problem in other countries as well so please don't think that I am accusing all, or most of this crime.  Just trying to figure out why it is happening at all.


One thought is that dowries are the culprit.  In India, traditionally girls (or their families) have had to pay a dowry to the grooms family.  These dowries can be very large.  My maid is substantially in debt so that her daughter could get married.  The boys family demanded quite a large sum and my maid felt it was necessary to ensure her daughter was able to marry into a "good" family.


Also, girls go to live with the grooms family helping with the household chores etc.  Therefore, the girls family loses out financially and also loses help around the house.  Not much of an incentive to have girls, especially for a poor family.


If there are other reasons for not wanting girls, please add them to a discussion.  There might be cultural or religious aspects that I have no idea about.

I hope with modernisation, this trend will reverse but so far, urban centres with supposedly more educated and affluent people are also to blame for the skewed sex ratio.  Will dowries ever go away in India and will this stop the practice of aborting female fetuses?  

Back to my maid again, she has 2 boys and 2 girls.  Since she is so in debt because of the dowry for her first daughter, I said that it will ease up when she receives a dowry for her son from his bride but she said that she thinks dowries are very wrong and will not take one for her son.  She just wants him to marry a nice girl, who will keep him happy and help her around the house.  That is so admirable of this poor woman that it puts me to shame. She said that she only paid a dowry for her daughter because she believed it was the only way to ensure a good marriage (turns out it is not so good, but that is another issue).  It takes more people like my maid to break the cycle of dowries.

Tennis, 5-Star Hotels and Hypocrisy

Fun, fun day today and much needed I might add.  A small group of us expats have discovered some wonderful tennis courts on the Palace Grounds in Bangalore.  They are 2 very well maintained clay courts with a little hut attached with safe drinking water, clean washroom and even a shower.  It is quite an adventure reaching them since the way in to the Palace Grounds is through a thick iron gate which needs to be manually rolled aside to drive through.  There is an old man who peeks out through a little grill and then grudgingly pushes the heavy gate open.  Monty Python keeps coming to mind for some reason...

The Palace Grounds is a large area of wilderness on the north edge of the city center which is home to a couple of riding stables, a small amusement park, some small scale industrial endeavors and some convention/wedding halls.  It is also the location of the Bangalore Palace which is one of the residences of the descendants of the Maharajah of Mysore.  The grounds are also home to many very poor people scraping up a meagre existence to get by. I don't feel that I am describing it well enough.  There is nothing comparable that I have seen elsewhere.  The reason I am trying to describe it is to show that playing tennis here, in and of itself, feels like a bit of an adventure when you first start coming.  The usual posh tennis club, this is not!

However, the head pro is a very charming and effective young manager and they give some of the poor boys in the area jobs there and tennis lessons.  Actually, the manager started off like the ball boys and quickly advanced in both tennis skills and teaching skills.   These boys gain valuable skills that they would otherwise never have the opportunity for, as well as learning how to deal with us foreign ladies in very short skirts, improve their English skills and their tips are kept aside for them for clothes, food, and even computer courses.  It feels much more rewarding playing there than just adding to the profits of a snooty club.

Now the hypocrite in me comes out; I spent the afternoon sunning myself and lunching poolside at a 5 star hotel!  Not only that-I felt a little put out because there were 2 Indian men swimming in the pool in their clothes! How can I be so moved by the needs of the boys at the tennis courts and then immediately go from that to opulence and pampering, not to mention adding to the profits of a large corporation?

This is the kind of contradiction that India presents to you everyday. It tends to highlight our hypocrisy.  It tends to "rub it in" a bit too.  I think that is why it is said that India will change you.

Lucky us, that we can escape to luxury and comfort when we have had enough.